"The Start Of A New Day"

I get up to find that just like most days my girls want to stay in bed so on with the drama of getting them up and off to school. After getting them to school I sit in the driveway missing my father I start to have a short cry feeling alone at that moment I try to call my friends which after trying several I do get a hold of one and talk for a few minutes. We are after all only human we all need to talk to someone sometimes for me I feel like I can't talk to anyone in my home they all have there own problems. I try so hard to be strong , at least in front of everyone. Some days I just feel like giving up I miss all the family members I have lost this past year, my fater,uncle and mother in law. my brother is also sick just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer he is my big brother , my only brother they say he doesn't have alot of time I don't want to even think of him leaving me. The biggest thing that keeps me going is my children, I can be having the worst day ever and look into there eyes and everything is ok for that moment. I keep telling myself to get it together and start getting on with my life. The day my father passed away was the day I feel like I stopped being me , the old me something in me changed now I always seem depressed and yes the doctor put me on meds that don't really work. I have always been able to talk to my father and now that he is gone I am lost. He taught me to be a strong person so I know with time and Gods help I will heal and be the person I once was. I still put on the happy face for my two girls , every weekend with thier friends over I act like nothing is wrong I want to be a great mom or at least try to be.